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`Apr. 25, 2025` · [[Horseapple]] · #Fragment #Characters #Warband
> [!custom-callout]- All mentions, including keyword *“npc12”*
> *Pulled from* [[2-strings-(Warband)]]
> - “Oh valiant one -- I hear that you have given leave to Jeremus to produce some testily-worded dissertation that undermines everything the people of this land hold dear, and accuses the old emperors of murder and usurpation. Captain -- I know as a poet that people must have heroes to emulate, and a golden age to restore. Will you create a kingdom in which cynics and scholars tell us what we must believe? I can think of nothing more dull.”
> - “Greetings, fellow traveller. Perhaps you can help me.”
> - “I shall tell you -- but know that it is a tale of gross iniquity. I warn you in advance, lest you are of a choleric temperament, and so become incensed at the injustice done unto me that you do yourself a mischief.”
> - “I am by training a natural philosopher, but condemned by the jealousy of the thick-headed doctors of my university to make my living as an itinerant surgeon. I was hired by a merchant of this city to cure his son, who fell into a coma after a fall from his balcony. I successfully trepanned the patient's skull to reduce the cranial swelling, but the family ignored my advice to treat the ensuing fevers with a tincture of willow bark, and the boy died. The father, rather than reward me for my efforts, charged me with sorcery -- me, a philosopher of nature! Such is the ignorance and ingratitude of mankind.”
> - “The lord of this castle is reluctant to place me under arrest, but I am anxious to move on elsewhere.”
> - “I have been here and about, tending to the sick and taking what reward I can. But the people of these parts are ignorant, and have little respect for my craft. The few denars I make are barely enough for me to replenish my stock of medicine. I should be grateful for the chance to find other work.”
> - “As I told you, I am a surgeon, not some silk-robed university physician who has never touched a body. I can get my hands dirty.”
> - “I have treated every variety of wound that can be inflicted by the hand of man. Before I was a surgeon, I was a student, so you may be sure that I have inflicted wounds as well as healed them.”
> - “Captain -- I do not like to see us {s21}. I am prepared to be a warrior, but not a brigand. Pray let us try to show a little more compassion.”
> - “My lord. The barbarian woman, {s11}, complained of headaches -- a possible symptom of excess of sanguinity. I thought to apply my leeches.”
> - “But when I tried to afix them, she recoiled and struck me, and accused me of witchcraft. Captain, I am deeply tired of attending to the complaints of such an ungrateful and ignorant lot.”
> - “Captain. I can no longer abide the rank ignorance of {s11}. As I was treating the wounded during our last battle, he saw fit to disparage my use of laudanum in relieving the pain while I conducted surgery, and of treating wounds with a poultice of honey.”
> - “Captain, if that man knew the slightest thing about medical matters, he would know that one should never undermine a patient's confidence in his doctor, particularly not during a complicated operation. If you would be kind enough to dismiss him from this company, you would be doing all of us a great service.”
> - “A bloody business, captain, a bloody business -- although a necessary one, of course. {s11}, I believe, shares my ambivalence about this constant fighting.”
> - “It saddens him deeply to take the lives of his fellow men, however just the cause. He and I have talked together of a brighter future, of the need to unite these petty warring kingdoms of Calradia, so that we may bring this time of troubles to an end.”
> - “I've done all right in your company. I filled my belly, put some gold in my purse, and broadened my knowledge of wounds and injury -- I can't complain about that! But I think right now that service in this company is holding me back. I have a duty to share my findings with other surgeons, and for that I need to hire scribes, who are rare in Calradia. I shall be going home.”
> - “Captain! It's a fine thing to see an honest face like yours. This world is full of lies. I went home to publish my findings, hired some scribes and made a handful of codices, and waited for the commissions. But it turns out that the universities don't care about real medical knowledge rather than warmed-over Galerian. And publishers -- let me tell you, you never saw anyone so unscrupulous. They rent the books out chapter to by chapter to students to copy, but half of them aren't returned, and those that are have pages soaked in wine, and there's no longer a complete copy of my work anywhere. I'll keep trying, but first I need a bit of money in my pocket, first. Are you looking for a surgeon?”
> - “We're passing by the site of one of my greatest medical triumphs, if that interests you.”
> - “The lord over there in Almerra Castle had the dropsy, and had requested a doctor from Uxkhal to treat him. Like a typical university-educated doctor, he went right to Galerian for a cure. Galerian commends sun-metal for dropsy. Now most of Galerian's writings were useless back in the days of the Calradic emperors when they were first written down, and they're doubly worthless today, but sometimes he hits upon the right cure by chance: sun-metal does cure some kinds of dropsy in small doses. However, sun-metal in large doses is poison, something that the Galerian-worshippers never grasped.”
> - “The difference between poison and cure is the dose. You tell that to everyone you meet, and tell them you heard it first from Jeremus the Great. People think that all the wisdom worth knowing was written in Old Calradic, but I say you can learn twice as much from village midwives and careful examination of nature than from the entire imperial corpus. That's why they threw me out of the university, although in retrospect that was a blessing. Anyway, I put that lord back on his feet, and he availed me of a sack of gold and the corpse of a freshly hanged criminal to dissect. Ha! To think of the lengths I had to go to get specimens back in those days.”
> - “I come from overseas. I travel the world in search of medical lore.”
> - “I am sure that you would make a fine king, captain. I flatter myself that I am a good judge of character, and you have demonstrated a capacity for compassion that far exceeds that of these others who call themselves monarchs.”
> - “Of course, captain. But if I have learned anything in my travels in this land, it is that Calradians are sticklers for precedent. Everything must be done as it was done in the days of the old Empire -- even though not more than one in a hundred of them can read enough Old Calradic to understand the chronicles! Veluca merchants marry their daughters according to the 'imperial' rite. Rivacheg cattle herders churn 'imperial' butter. And of course, every king must be crowned according to 'imperial' law.”
> - “But you know what? There was no 'imperial' law when it came to the crown. Sometimes one emperor handed the empire to his son. Sometimes he split it between his generals. Sometimes one emperor murdered the last. There's no right 'Calradic' way to crown a {king/king or queen}, and thus it makes sense that the crown should go to the one most fit to govern -- which would be you, naturally. Give me a couple of weeks, and I'll write a tract which proves it and find a copyist to post a version in every town tavern in the land. What do you say to that idea, captain?”
> - “Captain. I hear that you've gone and made Klethi, of all people, some sort of ambassador to the aristocracy. I shudder to think of what that amoral girl might be promising them on your behalf -- and dignifying all these gross indulgences by calling them 'ancient freedoms.' By doing this, you mock those of us who who had hoped that you would have helped Calradia escape its bloody past, and move towards a new age of peace and learning. Enough, I have said my peace.”
> - “If you wish, Captain, I would not mind taking the time to pay a visit to a pupil of mine, now employed by the lord of {s17}. I had great hopes for him, but I have heard that he has lately endorsed the use of muskmelon for the treatment of palsy, on the grounds that its cold essence offsets an abundance of yellow bile. This is a travesty of medicine, and I must journey there swiftly to correct him. While I am there, if you wish, I could question him on the latest trends within the {s18}, a matter which may interest you.”
> - “Well, {sire/my lady}, I'd have you know that don't believe in the holding of land in fief to the king. Farmers and landholders should govern their own affairs, under the distant watch of the sovereign. That being said, Calradia has seen far too much bloodshed for us to turn the social order on its head right now. Give me that land, and I'll endeavor to prepare it for a brighter future -- if not in this generation, than perhaps in the next.”
> - “So, it seems we must fight. I would have you know, {sir/my lady}, that I have not betrayed you. I had never served you as a man, but served the principles which I believed you upheld. As you no longer uphold them, I must do my best to thwart you. But I bear you no ill will, and I hope that we can meet again some day as friends.”
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>*“A massive `Mount & Blade` wikipedia.”*<br>About [Encyclopædia Calradica](About-the-Encyclopædia.md)<br>About the [Project](Project-(Pillar).md)<br>About the [Author](Horseapple.md) <br>