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`Apr. 25, 2025` · [[Horseapple]] · #Fragment #Characters #Warband
> [!custom-callout]- All mentions, including keyword *“npc13”*
> *Pulled from* [[2-strings-(Warband)]]
> - “I hear that you've got Nizar spinning poems to justify your ascent to the throne. I can't say I approve, {Brother/Sister}. If men fight for a {king/sovereign}, it should be because they know they're going to get something good out of it, not because they've taken a liking to a silly song.”
> - “Greetings, traveller. I am Nizar. No doubt you will have heard of me.”
> - “You have not? Then perhaps you will have heard of my steed, who cuts across the Calradian plains like a beam of moonlight? Or of my sword, a connoisseur of the blood of the highest-born princes of the land?”
> - “I am a warrior by profession. But perhaps you may also have heard of my prowess as a poet, who can move the iciest of maidens to swoon. Or of my prowess in the art of the bedchamber, in which I must confess a modest degree of skill. I confess a modest affection for Calradia, and for the past several years have visited its towns, castles, and villages, making the most of my talents.”
> - “Which reminds me -- somewhere out there in the city is a rather irate husband. I don't suppose you might consider helping me leave town?”
> - “I have been wandering through the cities of Calradia, leaving a string of love-sick women and cuckolded husbands in my wake. But I grow weary of such simple challenges, and had been thinking of turning myself to more martial pastimes.”
> - “Indeed? You would do well to enlist me.”
> - “Sword, lance, the bow -- my skill in all such martial pursuits is the stuff of epic verse. Together we will perform such feats as will be recounted in festivals and campfires, in filthy taverns and in the halls of kings, for many generations to come.”
> - “Before I sign up, there is the small matter of some expenses I have incurred while staying here -- {reg3} denars. Do you think that you could cover those for me, as a gesture of friendship?”
> - “Captain, if we can avoid it, I'd prefer not to {s21}. Calradia is a small place, and one's reputation is precious. I would not care for one of my rivals to include this latest unfortunate incident in a satirical verse.”
> - “Captain, I weary of {s11}, who talks of nothing but chivalry and feats of arms.”
> - “Valorous deeds are all very well, but they are not the only goals worth pursuing in life. Personally, I never trust any man who has not at least once woken up drunk in a ditch, or been beaten by the slipper of his lover.”
> - “Hello, captain! {s11} is a temperamental one, isn't he? During that last battle, I was merely having a friendly chat with our foes about their mothers as we exchanged swordblows, and it caused him to throw a fit!”
> - “When all the dust settled, {s11} turned on me and told me not to 'tempt the wrath of the Heavens' with my 'hubris.' I responded that at least I hadn't killed my own brother, which I think bothers the Heavens a lot more than battlefield small talk. {s11} turns red like a baboon's arse and would have struck me had I not artfully dodged out of his away. Tell him to lighten up, will you?”
> - “You have earned your name today, oh valorous one! And {s11}, too! I like that one. She sings the songs of her people as she goes into battle, which appeals to an artistic soul like my own.”
> - “Also, although I normally prefer the coy to the Amazonesque, I confess that I have also noticed the femininity she tries to hide beneath her martial demeanour. True, she is a bit aloof on the march and in camp, but perhaps my fair words can melt the Nordic ice around her heart.”
> - “As the luster of your name grows ever brighter, I fear that my own reputation will seem pale in comparison, as the moon is outshined by the sun. I have decided to strike out on my own. The very best of luck to you!”
> - “Well hello there, oh valorous one. I had been hoping to see you again. Everywhere I go, I hear tales and songs of your deeds. I will admit that I felt a twinge of regret that we had parted ways, and, I'll confess, a twinge of jealousy as well at your reputation. I thought that once again I might fight by your side, and thus bask in the reflection of your glory. Perhaps we might ride together again, for a little while?”
> - “Ah, Castle Ergellon! Such a lovely spot, at the foot of the Rhodok highlands. Such happy days I spent here, the summer before last.”
> - “I had come up here with a small Swadian force, but they were caught by the Rhodoks in the woods and their horsemen cut down amid the trees. I fled and found shelter up in the high valleys, in the arms of the comeliest cowherd you ever saw. She took me to a cave near the high pastures, and would bring me cheese and berries, and tell me the tales from the hills -- of playful goat-men who guide lost animals back to their flocks, or of ghostly huntsmen who ride the winds, chasing stormclouds. Such rustics they are!”
> - “Eventually I had to leave, and sometimes I wonder if there is a little herdsboy swaddled on her back, as she takes the cows up to pasture each morning. I'd be tempted to try to find her -- but no, no, one should never look back.”
> - “Oh, far away from here, my {lord/lady}, else you would already have heard about me, and would not need to ask such things.”
> - “That would be a fine thing, {sir/my lady}! Many is the tale of the hero who has proven his worthiness to wear a crown through valor. Perhaps you know the song of Antaran son of Ashdab, who rose from obscurity to become king of Dabarah. A splendid tale!”
> - “Of course, {my lord/my lady}. Also, as we learn from the tale of Antaran, when claiming a throne, it does not hurt to be the subject of an epic, recited around campfires and hearthfires, describing one's deeds. As you no doubt know, I fancy myself a fair crafter of couplets.”
> - “Then give me leave for a few weeks, oh gallant one, and I will spin such a tale as would stir even the dullest heart, inspiring admiration for your virtues, compassion for your hardships, and indignation at those who would stand in your way. I assume, of course, that I would be able to take a certain amount of poetic license with the details?”
> - “Oh valiant one -- I hear that you have given leave to Jeremus to produce some testily-worded dissertation that undermines everything the people of this land hold dear, and accuses the old emperors of murder and usurpation. Captain -- I know as a poet that people must have heroes to emulate, and a golden age to restore. Will you create a kingdom in which cynics and scholars tell us what we must believe? I can think of nothing more dull.”
> - “How generous and kind of you, {sire/my lady}. Allow me to express the utmost reverence for your wisdom in selecting me. Truly, your perspicacity exceeds that of King Laminur, who could read the character of a man from a single hair of his head. Your judgment surpasses that of the Emperor Akembra, to whom even the jinns submitted their disputes. Anyway, I accept.”
> - “It is sad to meet you as my enemy, Captain -- but on the other hand, to meet such a titan of the battlefield as yourself in combat is a rare privilege. Truly, the news of our contest today shall keep the bards and poets of Calradia in wine and silver for months to come, do you think?”
>   <br> ![[encyclopedia_calradica.gif|center|300]]<br>
>*“A massive `Mount & Blade` wikipedia.”*<br>About [Encyclopædia Calradica](About-the-Encyclopædia.md)<br>About the [Project](Project-(Pillar).md)<br>About the [Author](Horseapple.md) <br>